Films A-Z

A day late, a dollar short and wearing a brand-new shirt with a food stain on it — that’s my life story and I’m sticking to it. So naturally on the heels of so many other movie bloggers, I decided to participate in the A-Z film lists.

Enjoy…

A is for “Apocalypse Now”

 

 

B is for “Blazing Saddles”

 

 

C is for “Clueless”

 

 

D is for “Dead Man Walking”

 

 

E is for “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”

 

 

F is for “The Fall”

 

 

G is for “Gojira”

 

 

H is for “Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer”

 

 

I is for “Idiocracy”

 

 

J is for “Jindabyne”

  

K is for “Key Largo”

 

 

L is for “Lars and the Real Girl”

 

 

M is for “The Maltese Falcon”

 

 

N is for “No Country for Old Men”

 

 

O is for “Out of the Past”

 

 

P is for “Plan 9 from Outer Space”

 

 

Q is for “Quills”

 

 

R is for “The Rules of Attraction”

 

 

S is for “Secretary”

 

 

T is for “12 Angry Men”

 

 

U is for “Unforgiven”

 

 

V is for “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”

  

W is for “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”

  

X is for “XXX” (a.k.a. “That Movie Where Vin Diesel Was Not Shirtless Often Enough”)

  

Y is for “Young Frankenstein”

  

Z is for “Zoolander”

No. 34: “Blazing Saddles” (1974)

“Gentlemen, please, rest your sphincters.” ~~Hedley Lamarr

I do believe, in all the wide, wide world of sports, that I have No. 6’d my way into a corner here.

Lookit: “Blazing Saddles,” as mentioned in the 10 movie facts post, played an incremental role — however demented — in my development from sullen teen to maturity-resistant adult. I have seen it upwards of 100 times. My parents and I have all but created our own language based around quotes from the film. It isn’t close to my heart; it’s in my heart. And it is much easier to review films when there is no emotional attachment involved. How do you turn fresh eyes on a film like that? I’m not sure. I can be a provincial putz that way.

So for “Blazing Saddles” we’re going to change the way we do business here at M. Carter @ the Movies. I’m going to do something a little bit different, something that suits the episodic nature of the film and something that speaks to the deep appreciation I have for comedy that not only stands the test of time but bests it. (Those unfamiliar with the film, scroll to the end for a brief plot summary.) Seeing as “Blazing Saddles” is a collection of golden comedy nuggets, allow me to lead an exploration of the 34 scenes/quotes/gags that qualify Mel Brooks’ film as one of the funniest ever made, and a staggering work of mad genius.

Excuse me while I whip this out:

34. “Mongo only pawn in game of life.”

33. The saddles are designed by Gucci. 

32. Hedley Lamarr’s (Harvey Korman) loss of Froggy in the tub, and Taggart’s (Slim Pickens) accidental game of find-Mr.-Winkie.

31. Hedley’s list of the baddies he needs to take over Rock Ridge (it includes Methodists).

30. Idiot Gov. William J. Le Petomane (Brooks) can’t get a simple harumph outta that guy.

29. “Well, it all depends on how much Vitamin E I can get my hands on.”

28. Lili Von Schtupp’s (Madeline Kahn) idea of what constitutes slipping into “something a little more comfortable.”

27. Guy dressed as Hitler: “They lose me right after the bunker scene.”

26. The French Mistake.

25. Dom DeLuise demonstrating the French Mistake.

24. Gov. Le Petomane can’t fit his pen in the inkwell (“think of your secretary”).

23. The revelation that stampeding cattle through the Vatican is villainous … and kinky.

22. “I will read from Matthew, Mark, Luke and DUCK.”

21. Mongo (Alex Karras) is not gay.

20. Lili’s entire performance at the saloon, but particularly the line “they start with Byron and Shelley / then jump on your belly / and bust your balloon.”

19. “Teutonic Titwillow” would be a killer name for a band.

18. But “Teutonic twat” would be even better.

17. Rev. Johnson’s heartfelt prayer to God using the phrase “dicking around.”

16. “Land: see Snatch.”

15. Murdered sheriffs and burned crops are acceptable, but did the cattle deserve that kind of treatment?

14. Harriet Johnson’s (Carol Arthur) voice can put the fear of the Lord Almighty in ya.

13. “We’ve gotta protect our phony-baloney jobs, gentlemen!”

12. That a quote from Nietzsche is followed by “blow it out your ass.”

11. Wed woses are so womantic.

10. Chewing gum on line is a capital offense.

9. “Goddarnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a 20-dollar whore.”

8. Sheriff Bart’s (Cleavon Little) bait to lure two KKK thugs behind a rock.

7. The story of how The Waco Kid (Gene Wilder) became a drunk (“little bastard shot me in the ass”).

6. The campfire bean chowdown/fart-a-thon.

5. Everything Gabby Johnson (Jack Starrett) mumbles.

4. None of Hedley’s henchmen see the idiocy of having a tollbooth in the middle of the desert (“somebody’s gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes”).

3. The way the whole film reveals the racism inherent in Westerns (Brooks would hate that kind of lit-theory babble, though).

2. Sheriff Bart’s “introduction” to the Town of Rock Ridge: the hold-up.

1. Taggart detailing the intricacies of what it means to “work up a no. 6” on anyone. (If anyone invites you to a No. 6 dance, turn him down.)

*Synopsis: Corrupt politician Hedley Lamarr, in an effort to wrest land from the Town of Rock Ridge, convinces the governor to appoint a black sheriff, Bart, to the all-white town, and infuriate the residents. Bart finds an ally in the washed-up, drunk Waco Kid, and they fend off Hedley and his sidekick, Taggart’s, increasing efforts to snatch their town from under them.

C’est moi (in 10 movie facts)

Everyone’s friendly neighborhood Kaiderman and the ever-contemplative and sage Darren seem to have tagged me in the latest meme scuttling across the floor of our movie blogging underworld. And while I am duly honored, I do feel somewhat undeserving.

Mostly because I confess that I had no idea what the word “meme” meant.

And to think you call yourself an "English major"!

Then Merriam-Webster online came to the rescue and I tossed away that unsightly dumb-dumb cap and prepared to share 10 movie-related factoids about me:

1. “Gremlins” the movie scared me so badly I slept with my bedroom light on for a year. I’ve never seen the movie again, and throughout the Furbies craze I couldn’t pass one of those critters without shuddering.
2. The first movie I ever reviewed — for my high school newspaper, The Voice — was “Romeo + Juliet.” I gave it an “A.” Oh, to be that young and swoony and stupid again.
3. When we were 13, my cousin Katie and I decided to turn “Seaquest DSV” into a movie, wrote the script and sent it to NBC. Our talent so stunned them they were rendered totally incapable of writing back.
4. My friends call me The Walking Imdb because I can name a movie or an actor or a director with almost nothing to go on (my personal best: “that singer chick in that chick movie with the house” = “Foxfire”).
5. I go through random periods of mania where I get obsessed with a film and watch it until I have it memorized. Right now I’m stuck on “Casablanca.” Gin joints and hills of beans and all that.
6. I used to review movies for a small-town newspaper. The editors ran a mugshot with my column, and before long people started coming up to me in the grocery store/Walmart/the liquor store and say, “Hey, you’re that Movie Girl, aren’t you?”
7. My affinity for Mel Brooks comes from my parents, with whom I watch “Blazing Saddles” approximately 42 times per year.  It’s a bonding thing.
8. I haven’t found an eligible man yet who wasn’t disturbed by my preference for action films over chick flicks. (If you know any in the Carolinas, send them my URL.)
9. When I visited Boston a year ago, I jogged through the Common pretending I was Billy Costigan in “The Departed.” The homeless people looked at me funny.
10. The idea and the name for M. Carter @ the Movies came from my friend Jason, who needs to start his own blog. If the world can handle Two Girls One Cup, man, they can handle A Dick on Flicks.

And now, because this is a meme (see, Darren, I used the word properly!) that is akin to the Dread Cheese Touch, I must appoint five more fellow bloggers to tell their stories in 10 movie facts. They are:

• Go,See,Talk! — A dude with very eclectic taste in movies
• The Robot Who Likes Pretty Things — Possibly the most prolific reviewer I’ve never met
• FlixChatter — My go-to source for movie news
• The Film Reel — Whom I blame for getting me started on this horror craze I’m on
• Daily Film Dose — Whose diverse canon of reviews astounds me