A quest for crap

Sometimes you get a notion in your head and you let it run you crazy. Such is my situation since last night, when I finished reading David Gilmour’s “The Film Club,” a memoir about three years he spent watching and discussing films with his teen-aged son, Jesse, for the university’s book club. There’s a paragraph of two in there where he spends more time describing “Showgirls” — that steaming crap-pile he christens The Worst Movie Ever Made — than many of the classics, like “Citizen Kane” or “Murmur of the Heart.” Which planted a dangerous idea nugget: What IS the worst movie ever made?

Given that so many of us hobby bloggers (me included) tend to watch only “great films” or ones we know we’ll like/love, this seemed like an intriguing challenge, bird-dogging bad movies. And not “bad in a good way” movies — the kind I’m talking about are the dregs, the ones that scrape the filthy, stinky bottom. Here are a few of my suggestions:

• EVERYTHING Ulli Lommel has done or will do
• “Showgirls”
• “Asylum”
• “Primeval”
• “Sweet November”
• “Death Race”
• “Vantage Point”
• “Hide and Seek”
• “Chaos”
• “The Smokers”

This is a quest that’s weeping for a little help. Pony up some suggestions, blog readers — what are some of the worst movies you’ve ever seen? Be not gentle in your choosing; give me the terrible, the awful, the so-damn-bad-I-wish-it-could-be-unmade worst of the worst.