“Zombie Kitteh”: A (Very) Short Film*

“Zombie Kitteh” by M. Carter

Setting: Empty cabin in the North Carolina mountains. Four teens, all eminently expendable (except the guy, who is, well, a guy), sit in a circle in the dark living room lit only by a flickering candle. (Guess someone’s mom and dad forgot to pay the electric bill.) They discuss life, love and other perplexing universal conundrums, but mostly they have frequent casual sex. Consensual casual sex, of course. What do you think this is, “Kids”?

Brick-Brained Chesty Brunette: “Hey, did you hear something?”

Slightly Smarter, Smaller-Chested Redhead: “Yeah, it was weird. It sounds like it came from behind the front door.”

Frat Boy Voted Most Likely to Use the “Officer, I Only Had Two Beers” Defense: “You girls stay here. I’ll check things out.” (Puts down his peach-flavored Boone’s Farm and gets up in a huff of willful manliness, but mostly he just wants to go outside and smoke that joi– nevermind)

The Voice of Reason, a.k.a. the Sardonic Ugly Hot Girl Wearing Glasses Who’s Only There Because She Wrote the Brick-Brained Girl’s Paper on “Othello”: “No. Wait. Stop. Don’t.”

FBVMLUOIOHTBD thrusts open the door only to discover something that makes him glad he hasn’t changed his underwear in four days…

…Zombie Kitteh’s out there!

Finis

*Moral of the story: Go see "Zombieland." Like yesterday.