Mein big day

Dear Interweb,

In the name of The Virgin Pamela, Interweb, I declare that today marks a very exciting day in the life of me, for ’tis the day the production companies behind “Bruno” and “I Love You, Beth Cooper” have quit lollydicking around and finally released their movies! Cohen’s mind-perverting satire (and, thanks to that MTV movie awards stunt, his bare buttocks) have been on my mind for eons. Now it’s time to live the magic. Tonight. 5:30 p.m. Manchester 14, Rock Thrill. Be there.

In other news, I may have to reconsider my knee-jerk distaste for blonde starlet Hayden Panettiere. Is it possible she could be more than a fairly fantastic pair of knockers accessorized by a cherubic little face? Could there be thoughts bouncing about in that round head, and smart ones? Her interview with OMG! — I read OMG!; deal with it, haters — suggests an affinity for oceanic mammals, a stint that landed her in hot water with the cops and a surprisingly level head.

Meh. Stranger things have happened. (Hell, Blossom earned a Ph.D. in neuroscience.) Could Panettiere be a younger Anna Faris? Hmm. It’s high time to see if Barbie girl can act.

Now, if I could just get Mr. Phelps to show up in his US & A speedo with those $1,000 bills, this day would be perfect.

Sincerely,

M. Carter at the Movies