What a huge day for news in my po-dunk ‘lil state! Our illustrious, trout-for-brains governor, the one and only Mark Sanford, has admitted to a long-standing affair that he continued … last weekend … on Father’s Day.
Finally, oh finally, John Edwards can turn to his steadfast wife and utter the words: “See, Lizzie? I’m not THAT bad.”
But maybe what’s gone down isn’t so terrible. After all, all Sanford did was trade the stimulus for, ahem, a little stimulation. Or perhaps the hullabaloo over said moneys resulted from a direct lack thereof. Men in the throes of not gettin’ any are known to do crazy, crazy things.
OK, OK, yes … I just remembered this is a movie blog, and thus I must interject some sort of movie-related banter. So I think this might be an excellent time, Mr. Sanford, to suggest some names for the movie that will be made about your Big Adventure (which makes Pee-Wee’s look, well, kinda boring and devoid of, well, sex). Here are a few I’m tossing about:
- “From Stimulus to Stimulation: The Mark Sanford Story”
- “Define ‘Separation’: The Demise of a Republican Marriage”
- “Mark Sanford: M.I.A. to F.U.B.A.R.”
- “Dulce de Sanford”
- “‘Doing Something Exotic’: What I Didn’t Learn from John Edwards”
- “Mark Does Argentina”
- “Episcopal Fever”
- “Outsourcing Infidelity”
Read the full story online here.
For more details — such as how Sanford, uh, hiked the Appalachians with his mistress on the taxpayers’ dime — click here.