WWVMD? Why, she’d make a movie

Kristen Bell may revive "Veronica Mars" in a movie by creator Rob Thomas.

Blondes have more fun: Kristen Bell may revive "Veronica Mars" in a movie by creator Rob Thomas.

I’ve got a secret. A good one.

OK, no need to bug my cell phone or probe my alibi; I’ll ‘fess up. Truth be told, this “secret” isn’t really a secret — I did, after all, find it on the Internet, where information is neither secret nor sacred — so much as an infonugget I must share immediately before my head explodes (and this cannot happen, as I am wearing a new shirt that a) was expensive and b) I like very much).

Are you ready? Are you sitting down? I am going to blow your mindhole. Finally, after ONE WHOLE YEAR AND THEN SOME of waiting, it is official: A “Veronica Mars” movie is in the works!

(Though I’m not particularly clairvoyant, let me guess what you’re thinking: Who is this “Veronica Mars” and why in the wide wide world of sports do I care that there’s going to be a movie about her?)

Gee, I’m glad you asked. You see, there’s nothing this reviewer loves more than bending an ear — or an eye, as the case may be — about one of the smartest, funniest, most inventive TV shows ever to meet an untimely, unmerited cancellation.

Since I’m a fan of film noir (particularly when the Coens take a stab at it), it shouldn’t surprise you that “Veronica Mars” has that sort of dark, mysterious atmosphere. It’s film noir by way of “Sweet Valley High” with snappy, pop-culture dropping “Gilmore Girls” dialogue with “Twin Peaks”-style plot twists and whodunnits. Oh, and the heroine, Veronica Mars, is a ball-busting teen private detective who — gasp! — who gives that whole “Dumb Blonde” stereotype a sharp, swift kick in the ‘nads … and then stuns it with a Taser for good measure.

But all this summary is just summary; to truly understand how this magical mish-mash of genres works, you have to see it. Don’t be fooled by the fact it was a WB show. Unlike, say, “One Tree Hill” or other such swill, “VM” is smart, satisfying viewing. Chances are, though, that if you’re reading this blog you have the kind of finely-tuned, discerning palate that would appreciate a show — and now a movie! — that features nontraditional characters and a twisty spiderweb of plots and subplots that force viewers to (dare I say it?) use their brains, not their channel-changing finger. So log on to Netflix and put “VM” in your queue. Then and only then will you begin to understand the many onion-like layers to my excitement at the mere hint of a movie.

Read the full story of this long-awaited project at http://movies.yahoo.com/news/movies.eonline.com/79975-.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going home to express my exuberance in in a place where no one — except possibly my dog — will eye me warily before backing away ever so slowly.

Coming soon: Full reviews of “Gran Torino” and “Last Chance Harvey”….

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